22 October 2015

Dear God,

“That is all I do. Throw stones in the air, and if somebody yells I know the stone came down.” Merton

I don’t feel like praying today. I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel like working. At times, I wonder why any of this matters, this senseless spinning about, worrying over my own work and the world, when most of us seem intent on watching the whole thing go up in flames as long as Hollywood still pumps out movies about it. It would probably be best to just sit back and warm myself by the fire, to grab a bag of popcorn and enjoy the show as well.

I suppose I need hope and faith. Continue reading

16 October 2015

Dear God,

“There are times when it is necessary to read, and even to read quite a lot, in order to store up material and get new perspectives.” Merton

“My prayer is then a kind of praise rising up from the center of Nothing and Silence… It is not ‘thinking about’ anything, but a direct seeking of the Face of the Invisible, which cannot be found unless we become lost in Him who is Invisible.” Merton

Storing up new material and directly seeking the Face of the Invisible through the negation of all thought — two ideas seemingly in contradiction. Yet, this is the center of the mystical traditions in almost all religions. How could it be otherwise? We must approach that Whom which cannot be wrapped in language, for She is beyond all differentiation, through meditation and the negation of the I as well as the ever persistent attempt to come to terms with the No-thing through the repetition and difference of language.

Last night I was alone after having worked all day grant writing. I wanted to write more but was tired. I drank a beer. Continue reading